New Beginnings...

The truth is,  this year I've been through hell and back.  I've been knocked down, picked up brushed off and put in the corner to find my way out.  Before all of this began I lived a life of pure bliss.  Every day I miss him, and you will see my write a lot about him as this journey I am about to start is for me, and a gift from him.  I will refer to him as KB moving forward.

After reading that first paragraph it sounds like I had a very sad breakup.  I guess this is somewhat true. KB was diagnosed with Metalized Melanoma stage 4 on October 4 2012.  Melanoma is a type of skin cancer that can be controlled in every stage except for stage 4.   It winds it way through your body at this stage, landing in spots like your liver, lungs brain and bones.  His melanoma found it's way into his bones.  Probably the worst one, as your body can't produce healthy blood anymore.  We had upwards of 18 blood transfusions in the time he was ill.  On Wednesday January 16 2013.  Kris passed away peacefully with me by his side, telling him I'd be ok, and that he didn't need to fight anymore.  As I write this I well up with tears still wondering if that’s what he wanted to me to say.  So I didn't have a sad break up, I had my heart torn out, stomped on and then put back inside of me to remember how much I miss him.  This is he.... and I of course.

When you lose someone so close to you, you reach out to things to change your life.  The routine of what you and your spouse had has halted.  I chose to get in shape, not to be skinny, but to feel good about myself.  I've known Jennifer Ettinger of Fit Your Style for upwards of 5 years, and we have worked together before on some events, but I never thought of having her train me.  I'm a workaholic and have little time for anything.  But she made me rethink what I was doing in my spare time.  I've been training with her since mid march and I think both her and I are surprised at how well and how far I've come.

Today I made the commitment to her and myself.  I have volunteered to be her "project" and a model for the fast growing company VEMMA.  We took a picture of me on day 1 and will take one every 2 weeks, wear similar clothing.  VEMMA and Fit your Style as well as a healthy eating routine are going to help me achieve my goals. I'm excited for this journey, I'm excited to be a stronger happier me and in the back of my mind, and the front and the side, I can hear KB cheering me on.


Day 1...